In a perfect world...

I have a private plane that flies WHENEVER I WANT IT TO TO WHEREVER I WANT TO GO AT NO COST TO ME.

My roommates all have happily moved on from their previous lovers without any extreme sadness or nutter butter kiss fest fiascos.

My dog, Moo, doesn't shed.

Ryder knows how to tie his own shoes.

Spencer Carter, Jimmer Fredette, Justin Bieber, and Scott Christensen are madly in love with me. And Garrett Gallinger. Did I mention any and all members of the BYU lacrosse team? Consider them mentioned.

Banana laffy taffys are THE ONLY laffy taffys.

My hair is 8 inches longer.

And also, you know, there's world peace and countries can manage themselves and America leaves everyone else alone and there are no bombs. And all the children are safe and happy and they have parents who are nice etc etc etc.

Obviously I have a bad attitude. Somebody call the waaaaaaaaaaambulance.