I am a seamstress.
Disclaimer: My Gran taught me the proper way to sew on a button. Really, she did. But I have since forgotten how, and I didn't have a toothpick handy, either. Maybe she can re-teach me when I go home in a few weeks.
I mean, it's not hard to sew a button on, and I didn't even do it correctly (feel free to cringe when you look at my stitches), but I am proud of myself.