The fabulous and excellent grand LES food tour 2013

On Saturday while we were at the MOMA* CJ and I decided, on a whim, to take a food tour** of the Lower East Side a la this BuzzFeed article.  We don't really frequest the LES so it was fun to explore a new part of town. (We also stumbled upon Babeland which is a really tame, non-embarrassing, classy sex shop for mature adults but even so I turned around and left pretty much as soon as I walked in because I felt I might faint. Basically I suck the fun out of everything.)

The first stop (after taking world's biggest detour which involved me swearing and a bus full of 100+ y/o Chinese people) was Vanessa's Dumplings.  Last weekend we went to Korea Town and got dumplings that were really good and cost about $8 for 8.  These were even better than those and we paid TWO DOLLARS for 8. This place is magic. We sat next to some people who ordered 50 dumplings (apparently you can buy them frozen...genius) and they paid only $9!!! The ladies who work there are all kinda mean and there is always a line but it's like WHO CARES.

I want these so bad right now and it's 10:30 AM.***

Next we braved the weirdo-ridden streets of the LES and walked to Sugar Sweet Sunshine Bakery.  We got the Chocolate Chip Extravaganza as per the BuzzFeed article and even though it looked so weird it was nothing short of divine.  Smushed up chocolate chip cookies + butterscotch pudding + whip cream all mixed/mashed together= heaven.  And they have cupcakes for $1.75.  I dare you to find a bakery anywhere that sells cupcakes (NOT MINI) for that cheap.

droolz

Then we decided to walk to Joe's for a slice  the best slice in the city, and we accidentally ended up in the shop where CBGB used to be (Hollaback Rufus and Lily!!) and that was cool but neither of us really care about punk music so...not that cool. Anyway we took our time strolling to Joe's and then we saw Mighty Quinn's BBQ (^__^) and we were like OHHHHHHHH now I know where we are! And I saw a guy come around the corner with a cone of them Pommes Frites and I said "WAIT CJ NOT JOE'S, FRIES" and he said "YES FRIES FIRST JOE'S AFTER" and so we found the fry place and those were also delicious. But I did not like them as much as the frites at Bruges, my one true Salt Lake love. And we didn't even go to Joe's after 'cause now we were too full.

we did not get cheddar cheese as pictured we got parmesan peppercorn dipping sauce.

We did all of this for only $12!! We didn't even need dinner after, it was all sooo good. And then we were like, what are we going to do when we live in California and we really want Vanessa's dumps? Cry? Then we laughed about how when we grow up and have kids and bring them back to New York they are going to think we are crazy because we are just going to be running all over town stuffing our faces with the best food in all the world.

At the end of it all CJ said "Today was really fun" and I said "Yeah" and he said "Would have been funner with friends though..." and I said "Yeah..." BUT then Sunday came and now we have some friendships in the works so STAY TUNED.

*We both get into the MOMA for free because of our jobs. On Saturday the woman at the desk said to me, "You can actually bring guests for free too, just so you know." Which I take to mean I can bring 20 guests for free if I want. So if you come visit we can all go to the MOMA for FREEEEE.

**I use this term pretty loosely. We only went three places, after all. If you come to New York I will take you on a for realz food tour.

***Yes, I took all these pictures straight from BuzzFeed. Yes, that is incredibly lame. You can criticize me for not taking any pictures ever once I have an iPhone, okay thanks.