February 28, 2013

Shish gets real

Last night CJ and I were talking about moving to New York, and I said something about how poor we are going to be or whatever. And he said, "Well I guess we can just move to Richland instead!" and I said "YAY YAY YAY!" and then I started SOBBING because I knew he was kidding. SOBBING. Because that was the first time that I realized that I am going to be moving really really really far away from MY MOM (and dad), my siblings, my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends...EV ER Y ONE. And I just wanted to crawl into a hole.

I thought about how I would feel if one of my grandparents dies while I am living so far away.

How I would miss playing with all my little cousins, or seeing new ones right after they are born.

No more summers lounging and drinking black pop at Indian Springs, watching my mom do her annual back flip off the diving board.

I won't be able to walk down to Gran's to borrow a book, or go to my Nana's on a Sunday morning to eat homemade biscuits before church.

I'll miss my house being filled with 25 kinds of pies and 2,500 people on Thanksgiving day.

This list could go on and on but I will just start crying at work and the people around here don't need another reason to think me mad.